well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
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