i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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