The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
id be glad to
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Randomize
