epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
So much Jack, so little girl.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
