The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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