well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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