we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Randomize
