It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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