I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize