her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
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