So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
this just has baby written all over it
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
