my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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