Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Randomize
