apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
