OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
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