I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Randomize
