I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
