I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
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