what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Randomize
