Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize