Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
