im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
