But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Randomize
