I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
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