South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
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