My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Randomize
