if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
How external is "for external use only"?
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
Randomize
