I'm pants shitting drunk right now
Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Randomize