1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
