Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
