My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
