Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize