Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
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