gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Let's get the cat blown out
Randomize