Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
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