you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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