Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
