You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
