Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Randomize
