last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
Randomize
