i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
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