Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
Randomize