If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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