she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
