Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Randomize
