True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
Randomize
