Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
