How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Randomize
