Define "chronic" masturbator.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
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