Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
Randomize
