she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
