I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
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