Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
