Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Found the puke drawer
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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