This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
