I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
