Already got asked if we're dating
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Randomize
