don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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