I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
