i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
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