He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
I think people are normalizing furries
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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