Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
