I got chris browned last night
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Randomize
