I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize