That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
