I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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