69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Threesome in a minivan. New low
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Randomize
