her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Randomize
