It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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