No awkward lesbian experiences without me
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
