butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
