Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
