i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Randomize
