so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
