I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
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