She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
I've blown a few things in my day
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
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